Lifestyle

Actually, I Can…

University had always ‘the dream’.

“Andi, you’ll be the first person to go to university from our family! That’s so amazing, you’re so clever, you can do it!”

Throughout school, I based every decision on this idea; my options, my extra curricular activities, my life outside of school…

It finally came to applying, and I really did not want to do it.

When I was younger, I had hopes of Cambridge or Oxford. My passions changed as I grew up – from forensic pathology to journalism to law – but my focus stayed the same, and university remained at the forefront of my mind. I often went for visits and overnight stays at both universities, experiencing the lifestyle, and getting to see what life would be like as a student.

After every trip, I would come home and the questions would be the same… “How did it go? Is it the one for you?!” And after every trip, my feelings would be the same – and then something clicked, or rather, it didn’t…

I didn’t fit in, and it just never felt right – regardless of what course I looked at, or where I looked at going, I just didn’t feel ‘it’. I wanted to be in love with the whole notion so much, and I simply wasn’t – I felt like I had failed!

One of the biggest factors that contributed to this was the drinking culture that often surrounds higher education and university – I rarely ever drink, and binge drinking is something that really does not appeal to me – old before my time, people always tell me!

As well as this, even the thought of being poor for three, or more, years of my life is enough to instil panic and anxiety, and I dread to think how I would cope if it actually happened! I recently saved Β£10,000 to put towards a house at some point in the future, and I would hate to have to spend that, just in order to live…

I’ve learnt that university is not the be all and end all of life – there are so many different avenues, so many different options that can all lead to success, and there is absolutely no reason to feel like you have failed, simply because you’ve avoided university! It definitely took me a while to realise this, but I’ve also learnt that my own happiness should always be at the forefront of my mind!

I have to do what’s best, and for me, that simply isn’t university!

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50 thoughts on “Actually, I Can…

  1. It’s so hard to have a set plan for so long and then have to turn against it, it literally turns your life upside down and makes you question everything! You’re super brave for facing it though, a lot of people would’ve just gone with it and ignored those feelings!
    Alice Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I was completely in the same situation. My A level tutors couldn’t comprehend with my GCSE point score and 3 As at A level why I wasn’t going to uni. I now live in central London and am training to be a project manager and the only one of my friends who has moved out so it certainly worked in my favour!

    Chloe x
    Thengguidetolondon.co.uk

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My exact position – I don’t want to put life on hold basically, I want to offfialy move out in the near future and further education just wouldn’t allow that! ☺️ x

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  3. I love this post! I can relate to it so well, there was so much pressure around me going to Uni as I was growing up. I hit a hard year when I turned 17 and felt that I had failed everyone. Then at 18 something clicked inside. I moved out, got myself a full time job, and now I’m actually going places! I’m happy for you! Glad you made the right choice for YOU X

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post! I felt the same all through school, but I did end up applying to do Primary Education. I’ve finished first year now, and unfortunately I’ve had to take a year out anyway due to illness, but I honestly don’t miss it at all and I don’t think I’ll be returning! I’ve fallen back in love with blogging, which had to sit on the back bench for a while, and now I’m looking at doing different things in the future πŸ™‚
    http://www.roisinslatest.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Primary Education was also an option at one point for me too! πŸ˜‚ You just have to do what’s right for you, and if that’s writing, then it’s writing.. πŸ™Š x

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  5. I did a similar post but I did end up going because of that ‘pressure’ and sort of regret it.. uni is not all what it’s cracked up to be at all! Loved this post and think it’s really honest xo

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I totally think that going to university isn’t the only why to better life. It’s great that you made the right decision for yourself. Forcing something just because of society is never a good option. x

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I am 100% with you!! There are definitely other routes you can take to get to the same place – as long as you don’t want to be a doctor or something specific. Also, not everyone has the same Uni experience. I lived at home and went to a local uni – you could argue that I didn’t have the proper experience, but it worked for me. I worked a part time job – so I was getting my education and work experience at the same time. Sometimes I wish that I would have moved away – but I definitely would have stressed about money. I think it’s good to decide for yourself what you want – without the influence of others – there’s no point in doing it if you aren’t on all in! Great read

    hayley // hayleyxmartin.com

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    1. What was living at home like?! I imagine it would’ve been very different to the stereotypical idea of university, but I also bet it saved you a huge amount of money! Thankyou πŸ™Š x

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  8. I’m halfway through my uni education ATM and literally I am going through this phase ATM. I’m questioning again whether it is what I want to do again and I hate financially struggling, but I am hoping my hard work will pay off! People should realise that success can come without going to university so I totally agree with everything you have said here xx

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This is so true – everyone needs to find out what works for them and University isn’t always the key. I went, and now I’m 31 and back in College… My baby brother went right into the skilled trades, and now he makes a great living!

    Britt | http://alternativelyspeaking.ca/

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  10. YES! I actually tweeted something very similar to the context of this post yesterday about how if you went to university and got a degree then that’s brilliant. But if you didn’t, that’s fine too. And it doesn’t make you any less successful, talented or smart than those that did. Everyone is on their own path; it’ll benefit some, not so much others. Some people will love it, some will hate it. And whichever way you swing, that’s totally fine. No one way is better than another xxx

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  11. I know how you feel! I always felt pressured to go to Uni because all of my friends went, but I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life at that point, and I didn’t want to spend 3 years of life doing something I didn’t want to do! And like you I’m super happy now that I haven’t gone! I know what I want to do with my life now, I’ve had the chance to think about it and try different things. I also hate the whole drinking thing too haha

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I really love this post!! I always felt pressured to go to university when I was in school but I knew it wasn’t for me and not what I wanted to do with my life so I made the decision not to go and I couldn’t be happier about it!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Loved this! I know how hard it can be to not do something everyone else wants you to do, or what you think is expected of you. I’m so happy everything worked out well for you! xx

    Liked by 1 person

  14. This is a very brave post and one I think that could benefit many people. It’s hard to go against the grain especially when school/university is the topic. It’s not for everyone and that doesn’t get said enough to the right people. Good for you! πŸ™‚

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    1. I always thought that the other options after GCSE’s were never really spoke about, so it’s great to start having conversations about apprenticeships and others avenues! πŸ™Š

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  15. That’s such a smart choice. Sometimes I feel like some people only go to university for the job prospects but so many more industries are welcoming apprentices and school leavers instead. Congrats on staying true to yourself xx

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Although I went to university and enjoyed it, I could always see how it isn’t for everyone – and that is ok! I believe that you should always do what makes you feel happy and comfortable. I am quite introverted and some of my friends aren’t and I know there are some things that they like to do which I don’t, and I am now at a place when I can accept that it’s ok to not do everything that everyone does!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. This is such a reassuring post. I’m currently going through the struggle of whether I wish to work full-time, earn money and experience or to go to university and do that after. I feel like university is almost holding me back in a way, but then I’ll also not know how it’ll benefit me unless I go through with the process! It’s a struggle of a decision to make, but your post certainly made me feel a lot more relaxed that I’m not alone! x

    Liked by 1 person

  18. To be honest I never really wanted to go to uni and instead I wanted an apprenticeship which I have actually achieved today! The thing is though schools push uni and don’t tell you about these different avenues.

    Liked by 1 person

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